Buddy work and accountability is an invaluable asset to any personal growth program.
In all of my programs, I encourage women to get a buddy from within the group and work with that support partner often. In my own experience, I’ve found that this is absolutely invaluable to the success of any personal development program.
The reason for this is because it enables the two people to practice new techniques and to handle overwhelming emotions and fears consistently in a safe and non judgmental space of mutual support. In this way, your issues don’t get a chance to ‘boil over’ and overinflate since you are both working on them consistently.
It’s also a great way for you to leave your fears and distorted thinking with someone else who can give you a different perspective since they are not ‘in your shoes’.
On a personal note, I’ve been working with my own buddy and partner, Joan for nearly a month now. We meet every day, on the phone including Saturday and Sunday. We tap together for just ½ an hour each morning. On weekends, when we both have more time, we spend it having a good heart to heart conversation with one another and doing more extensive energy work and tapping. I have never met Joan. She lives in California and I am in New York, yet I feel closer to her than to some of my personal friends.
We have both benefited from this enormously. However, I feel that it is only fair to share my own experience.
Having the opportunity to tap each day with Joan, has increased my ability to be more aware of what I need, what I want and what still stands in my way. Several times, issues have cropped up for me, where I was certain that they had already been handled, and much to my shock and surprise, I discovered that were still some very deep wounds sourcing back to my past, still causing resistance in many areas of my life.
These are just a few benefits that I have gotten by tapping with my buddy:
Food is losing its importance and I am gaining more control than ever
I am more accepting of my body now
I am less of a perfectionist
I’m managing my time more efficiently
I’m baking and cooking more – This is fun for me!
I am delegating more and feeling less burdened
I have taken steps to set up a video blog and journal my progress
I’m continuing to refine my video clips
My desk and office is consistently clean and uncluttered
I’m spending more time with my family
I’m sleeping better and more!
I’ve been consistently enjoying Body Flex, a simple exercise program that combines breathing with stretching
I’ve been starting my days with a guided meditation that I love
My client list is growing and my business is expanding
I’ve increased my rates
I’m more self expressive
I’m more productive
I’ve been more consistent
I’m more focused
My confidence has soared
I’m more self aware
Opportunities come to me!
I’m more willing to take risks
I’m much more compassionate toward myself!!!
If I could point to one single benefit, it would be to be able to see myself anew from the point of view and perspective of my buddy. By being able to disengage myself from my own distorted thinking and perceptions of my abilities, I’ve been able to make quantum leaps in my life because I see myself differently through her eyes.
If you feel like contacting Joan, you can email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
Here are some key tips to being a great buddy:
1. Choose your buddy wisely – find a gal who is compassionate and caring, authentic and non judgmental. It’s ideal if she has similar experience to yours
2. Know what you both want to get out of each session or call – When there is an issue to be addressed, spend a few minutes explaining it, decide who needs to work that day and get tapping. I recommend using a service like Audioacrobat to record the call for both of you. Many times we tap together, it is on issues that are painful with deep roots. Other times we just tap for abundance, great energy and productivity, feeling good and nurturing ourselves more. It will blow you away when you realize what a difference it makes to take 30 minutes a day and work on your ‘stuff.’
3. Be honest and willing to be vulnerable. By sharing your thoughts and feelings authentically, you can really get past the blocks and key into the best language for tapping. Don’t’ be embarrassed if you cry, scream or curse when expressing yourself. Most importantly create a safe space for each other. Do what you need to get rid of the junk, clear the cluttered thinking, challenge old fears, limiting beliefs and anxieties or paranoias.
4. Communicate consistently – you can never tap too much or meet with your buddy too often. Plan to talk as often as possible
5. Hold each other accountable for the tasks you say you will do – After tapping, check in with each other and promise to do one single thing that day to reinforce the benefits of the tapping session.
5. Be fair and share – Find an equitable way to share your sessions. You’ll both know what arrangement feels best in the moment.
6. Listen with your heart – Come to each call with a heart filled with caring and gratitude for your buddy, ready to support and listen deeply.
7. Encourage – Let your buddy know that you are there for them and that you care and want to support their progress
8. Celebrate triumphs – Revel in watching and hearing of your buddy’s progress.
I guarantee you will be able to enjoy a whole new level of depth to your relationship through this buddywork. Having access to this kind of support will also create an amazing ripple effect throughout your life wherein your confidence will soar and you will feel that you can do anything!
I’d love to hear of your experiences with buddy work. Do you love it, hate it? What’s the deal?
If you love it, my new Juicy Woman Yahoo message board is a great place to find a buddy. Come and join and meet the wonderful ladies who are there ready, willing and able to support you!