Do you ever get derailed from the joy in the moment by getting caught up in your obsession of thinking or seeing yourself as fat?

Yeah? Me too.

Even though I’m the author of the book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In,” I sometimes get a case of the body hating blues too. But I now know what to do about it when I get tired of feeling sorry for myself. Tap those hurts away.


Do you ever get derailed from the joy in the moment by getting caught up in your obsession of thinking or seeing yourself as fat?

Yeah? Me too.

Even though I’m the author of the book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In,” I sometimes get a case of the body hating blues too. But I now know what to do about it when I get tired of feeling sorry for myself.  Tap those hurts away.

I thank God everyday for this gift of knowing how to use tapping to quickly change the way that I feel.

Tapping is a simple stress relief process that anyone can do to calm themselves anytime, anywhere.

From the Highest of Highs…

Yesterday my day started out with a bang. I had the time of my life appearing on Rhina Valentin’s Open show on BronxNet TV. During the whole time I was on the show, I was in the zone, really feeling the love, for myself, for Rhina, for all the people there on the show.

There was such a powerful vibe of joy and empowerment in the atmosphere
and I loved connecting with the other guests and meeting Rhina.

My heart was on fire and I felt amazing the whole time I was there.
My only regret was not promoting the book signing that I’ll be doing next Saturday 2/9, from 11-2 at the Ashley Stewart store in Harlem. Thinking about the whys of that made me feel sad as I rode home.

To a New Low

Then when I got home, and I saw myself live on the video of the show, that was the beginning of what I like to call, “a fat day.” My joyful mood took a nosedive.

It was like everything that I had accomplished up until that moment, had completely dissolved and I just saw myself as this fat chick. Never a good thing.

I knew I was in trouble when I went out with the fam for
a very late dinner and ordered an old fave-cheeseburger and french fries.

Sabotaging My Way to “Not Tonight, Honey”

When my hubby tried to get frisky with me, with a kiss and a cuddle in the restaurant, I knew that I was so not in the mood. I felt so horrible about myself and I was hyperaware of how fat I felt. I knew that the cheeseburger would make me sleepy, but I didn’t care. That’s what I wanted. When we got home, I fell asleep on the sofa feeling so fat and ugly.

Making My Comeback by Tapping into the Real Hurt

That’s why it would have been so easy to have woken up and let those same feelings of discontent slip into today, but I didn’t. I had had enough of the feeling sorry for myself and I just wanted to get to the bottom of what was
really behind my anxiety about my behind.

Tap It Away: My Remedy for A Fat Day

So for about 20 minutes I just sat alone and tapped on the side of my hand and let my feelings roll over me like a wave. I caught so many fleeting thoughts that I had been thinking and realized that was why I was so
upset. As I continued to tap, a wave of sadness came over me as I realized that I was still so hurt over missing my father so much since we are estranged. I was especially torn by the fact that he used to video tape my presentations and now he won’t be there next Saturday. That was why I was beating up on myself over my size. As I tapped, I realized that made no sense and I began to feel waves of compassion that weren’t there before.

Tap, tap, tap. After half an hour on gently tapping on the side of my hand, I completely dropped my obsession about my size and realized that I needed to work on releasing more of my sadness and make it okay that dad wouldn’t be there to cheer me on next week or anytime soon. As I tapped on that, the pain became less and less and the ache in my heart went away.

Filled with renewed energy and zeal for sharing my message to help other women free themselves from their own self imposed fat prisons, the rest of the day was delightfully productive and spent loving and enjoying every moment with my fam.

Here’s the takeaway to you, my friend. How often do you let a “fat” day, get to you? And are you thinking that the problem behind your misery is because you’re overweight? It’s not. It’s just a symptom of something else.

On the surface, the behavior around overeating looks really simple. You eat when you’re not hungry, so all you have to do to remedy that, is to force yourself to stop eating, but it just doesn’t work that way. Because if you try to pressure yourself to eat less, it will feel as though you’re being deprived, and you’ll find yourself fighting back, tooth and nail trying to get what’s been taken from you.

Here’s a challenge for you: Instead of focusing on what you can control, spend more time thinking about what’s out of your reach. Ask yourself, how you feel? What does being fat mean to you, and why are you so upset with your body?

I urge you to focus more often on what’s really bugging you and look at your next “fat” day as an opportunity to go behind the scenes and find out what’s making you hurt. You won’t be sorry and your body will thank you because that ravenous urge to eat to satisfy yourself, will yield to a willingness to be more gentle with yourself. Let me teach you how you can do that.

In the next episode of my Wednesday night Blogtalkradio show, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In,” at 8:00-8:30 p.m. Eastern, I’m going to talk about what I’ve discovered about why food and fat is not the issue behind your excess weight.

I want to encourage you to come with your questions and let’s discuss this topic.

Isn’t it time you realized that each time that you fall back on focusing on your body as the problem, you’re giving into the old lies and perpetuating the self hatred.

Look deeper. I’m here to help.

Much love,