How many times do you want to say, “No” to someone and you end up saying “Yes?” Do you find yourself unable to voice your opinion when you know that you’re about to rock the boat? Are you usually the one who gets roped into doing things you don’t want to do? No worries. You’re not alone. And the condition isn’t chronic. If I can recover from the disease to please, so can you.

http://thejuicywoman.blogs.com/my_weblog/2015/10/say-it-or-stuff-it-express-it-or-wear-it.html

– Dr. Nancy Bonios, creator of The Bonios Plan, Beyond Dieting Program

How many times do you want to say, “No” to someone and you end up saying “Yes?” Do you find yourself unable to voice  your opinion when you know that you’re about to rock the boat? Are you usually the one who gets roped into doing things you don’t want to do? No worries. You’re not alone. And the condition isn’t chronic. If I can recover from the disease to please, so can you.

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In my book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In: The Juicy Woman’s Guide to Making Peace with Food and Friends with Your Body,” I talk about the importance of having boundaries in order to break free of the tendency to reach for food to soothe your hurt feelings. When you stick up for yourself and speak and act assertively, you put yourself back in charge of your own life.

By doing that, you gain a grasp over situations that have kept you feeling small and afraid. If you often find yourself in those types of uncomfortable circumstances, you need to set better boundaries. Here’s a quick excerpt from my book intended to get you to think more about setting clearer limits:

Binging: A Sure Sign Indicating That Your Boundaries Are Being Crossed

If you want to be taken seriously, you must say what you mean and mean what you say. In the past, I’ve gotten into the worst scrapes because I’ve over-promised and under-delivered. In an attempt to please everyone, all the time, I used to run around ragged, doling out “yes” responses to everybody. Sadly most of the time they didn’t mean anything, because I was so overwhelmed and time stretched that I couldn’t possibly keep my commitments. Because I wanted everyone to like and approve of me, it was next to impossible for me to utter the word, “No” to a single soul. On more than one occasion, that led to having my reputation questioned, feeling guilty and it often put me in hot water. Can you envision yourself in this type of situation?

In 2002, I was a Girl Scout Leader for a Brownie troop of 6 year old girls.. As the new addition, I was very eager to please, wanting everyone to like me and be my friend. You could say that I was the perky push-over.

During a monthly team leader meeting, the week before Christmas, my Division Leader, Laurie asked for volunteers to bake 5 dozen cookies for a holiday party a few days away. None of the team leaders raised their hand.

Laurie then proceeded to pick several women out of the group and ask them individually if they would be willing to help. They each declined. She paused a moment and looked around the room. Her piercing blue eyes locked on mine and she stared me down for what seemed like an eternity. Then with a disapproving glare and a sarcastic tone, she asked if I could find the time to help out the girls.

Every muscle in my body clenched. I felt so intimidated. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. I just knew that I couldn’t say “No” and disappoint everyone and I really wanted to be considered a team player. I could feel my body screaming “No” but the words, “Yes” tumbled out of my mouth.

That evening while baking those holiday cookies, I fell headfirst into a binge. Now a couple years after finally giving up dieting and seeing food for what it is, just food, I realize that I’ve spent years stuffing my face with food when what I really wanted to do is to just say “No.”

How about you? How many times do you find yourself running to the fridge to devour it’s contents after you have a heated conversation with someone who makes you feel completely intimidated by them, tongue tied and unable to say anything but whatever it takes to shut them up or please them? Situations like these where you don’t feel safe and comfortable expressing your opinion and stating your needs can trigger binges that will only bite you in the butt later. If you can relate to being the gal who always says, “Yes” when you really just want to say, “No,” I’m here to help.

Learning how to say, “No” without reservation, guilt or feeling pressured to offer a big explanation is truly one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and your body.

If you want to learn a whole lot more about how to set better limits in your life, click on the link below to purchase my book:  

“Lovin’ the Skin You’re In

http://thejuicywomanblog.com/product.php?id=147

 

boundaries, limits, binging, emotional eating, Andrea Amador, The Juicy Woman,