If you’ve been struggling with excess weight and feeling frustrated with the whole food situation, are you used to making your food choices based on what you should be eating vs. what you want to eat? Do you often settle for a more socially acceptable version of what you really crave?
Do you notice that on days when you do that, you may end up facing an all night food fest because you just didn’t give yourself permission to have what you really wanted?
If you’ve been struggling with excess weight and frustrated with the whole food situation of feeling like you’re constantly walking around hungry and feeling deprived, are you used to making your food choices based on what you should be eating vs. what you want to eat?
Do you often settle for a more socially acceptable version of what you really crave? Are you making a big production out of surgically removing the skin from your chicken or publically avoiding a food you love, because you’re afraid of being judged for what you eat and called fat?
Do you notice that on days when you do that, you may end up facing an all night food fest because you’re resentful of the fact that you felt that you couldn’t have what you wanted, weren’t being true to yourself and didn’t feel the freedom to just didn’t give yourself permission to eat something that you craved? You think to yourself, “it should be simple. but it’s so complicated. Why can everyone else eat what they want without guilt? Why do I have to suffer?”
That used to happen to me all the time. I would eat like a bird in the presence of others and then as soon as I got to a place where I felt safe and alone with no judgment eyes on me, I would bust out of my shell and binge.
That might equate to ramming a Ring Ding in my mouth the moment someone’s back was turned or shoving candy in my pocket to eat later. That insane and desperate thinking and being around food led me to be miserable and feel like I could never trust myself around the foods I loved.
Back in 2006, after I realized that my dysfunctional eating was affecting my then 10 year old daughter, Cara, that’s when I realized that I didn’t have the luxury of being able to continue to do the same thing I’d always done.
So with the help of a good friend, Doc Frost, I made a decision to stop dieting that rocked my world. Doc was retiring from a successful 25 year career as a psychotherapist in an eating disorder clinic in Utah. He explained to me that if I wanted to help my daughter to see herself and her body differently, I had to first work on changing my own perception of my relationship with food and my body.
Here’s an old video from the early days of 2006, when I was just beginning to learn the basic principles of how to feel safe around all foods. I pulled this out of my archives to share my story of what I discovered about the power inherent in asking for what you really want.
In my case, one of my most passionate and compulsive and shame-filled craves has been to enjoy the fat on steak. As a young girl who was put on a diet at 10 years old, I was pressured to cut the fat off the steak and never eat it.
I remember one day I volunteered to clean up the table so that I could be alone and eat the fat that I had removed from my steak. Another time I would pull it out of the garbage and eat it.
But it wasn’t until I stood up and demanded the right to enjoy it back in 2006, that I began to realize that it wasn’t all that I had cracked it up to be. Today sometimes I eat it, and other times I don’t. But now I feel that I’m no longer enslaved by my need to eat it. It doesn’t control me any longer. What foods have you in a twist?
I urge you to stand up and demand what you really want to eat. In this vid, I talk about my experience of finding the courage to order my beloved steak with fat in my local Japanese Hibachi Grill. Go for it. Order and eat what you want. You won’t be sorry. Would love to hear your thoughts on what stories roll in your head when you think about giving yourself permission to really eat what you want and make it clear to everyone around you that you stand by your choice.
Here’s my challenge to you. The next time that you feel compelled to clean up your eating choices, because you’re concerned that eating what you want won’t look acceptable to others, take a look at that and ask yourself, ”
What would be the consequence if I really ate what I wanted?” ”
Who will be affected by my choice to eat what I really want? If I do stand beside my choice, and eat what I want, how will I feel about myself later?
Please leave a comment and share your thoughts and stories with me. Also I’d love to ask you to click the Share button below to share this blogpost with your friends via Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook.
And… Guess what! I’m so jazzed. If you’re looking for a way out of your food war, I’ve got something great especially for you. I’m going to be participating as a speaker in Aimee Serafini’s Loving Food Loving Life Telesummit that will run from 4/15-4/26. For more details, check out the site info below.