Obsession lives and breathes in eating addiction. Are you a woman struggling with obsession in your life? I’d like to tell you a story about the importance of asking questions.
Have you ever been asked a question that changed the course of your life? I have.
Let me tell you about it.
I’ll never forget the first day of my Coach Certification training at IPEC. It was a beautiful crisp day in October 2004, I had arrived late because I had had an argument with my husband. It was just another in a string of many. We had been on the outs lately. I was certain that we were headed for a divorce. I wondered where the love had gone.
For the majority of that year, I had been spending a great deal of time away from the house in an effort to create a non-profit organization named Nana Cares to benefit abused women and kids. I had just returned from an 8 day trip to Dallas, Texas to attend a Gather the Women conference. I had also just broken my elbow a few weeks before I left.
Over the course of nearly a year, I had flown to so many cities throughout the US attending seminars, making connections and networking with people who could make my vision a reality. I wanted to spread healing and hope to women who had been abused. I had just learned this new process called Emotional Freedom Technique and I was determined to share it with other women so that I could teach them tools that would help them to overcome their pain. My Nana had passed away two years before that and I was determined to build a healing organization called Nana Cares in her honor.
I adored my Nana and her loss tore me apart. It was so bitter I could taste it. I couldn’t think of anything besides missing her. I wanted her back so badly but when I threw myself into the process of creating this organization it almost felt as though she were with me again.
Filled with feelings of loss and abandonment over Nana’s death, aching from the pain in my elbow and broken hearted over my realization that Angel and I were headed for a divorce, I collapsed down into my chair in class.
I can’t remember much about the first day because I was so preoccupied with my thoughts. I just remember that they kept going on about the power of questions.
During lunch time we were given an assignment to pair up with a buddy and coach them using only questions.
I paired up with a big, hulking teddy bear of a fellow named LD. We decided to go to lunch next door.
He began asking me some questions and I answered them one by one. As he uncovered more about me, those questions became more pointed and I could feel that they were making me think differently. We began talking about my passion to create Nana Cares and he asked me this question:
Andrea, how is this passion to create Nana Cares affecting your family?
I broke into sobs and huge salty tears fell into my warm mushroom salad. I was stunned by the impact of one question.
In the next moments, I knew what had been going on with me. I realized that my passion to create Nana Cares was preventing me from appreciating the people who I loved most in my life, my family. I realized that the distance between Angel and I was only caused by me. I was pushing him away, not the other way around. He was only reacting to feeling rejected and neglected. He was feeling the pain of me taking off and leaving over and over again to take classes, to attend seminars and to pursue my quest without regard to his needs and feelings. I realized that I was ignoring everyone in my life in an effort to bring Nana back to life. I sat on the bench in the restaurant, limp from crying and overwhelmed by what I had uncovered right there in the restaurant. And …All it took was one question.
Within minutes after that, I had realized what I must do next. I had to postpone this pursuit to create Nana Cares and find a plan to honor my Nana in a way that was more gentle and compatible with my lifestyle. That lunch helped me to sow the seeds of what is now my precious company, The Juicy Woman. It is in creating The Juicy Woman that I honor my Nana by helping others as she did for me.
Immediately following lunch, I called Angel and told him of my insights. I apologized for all of the hurt that I had caused and the distance that I had created with my obsession. That night he and the kids came down to the city and picked me up and we celebrated my actual return home.
How about you? Have you ever gotten so wrapped in something that you lost sight of what was important to you? Have you ever felt resentment brewing in you that caused you to think of your blessings as irritations? That’s what obsession does to people. It makes them forget that there’s life beyond their obsession. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a feedback and let me know what you think.
I also welcome you to join my Juicy Woman Yahoo Group and continue this discussion in a forum filled with wonderful Juicy women also asking great questions to release obsession from their lives.