When you’re having a tough day, doesn’t it just feel a little better to gripe and moan and do a little bit of complainin’? As a stress relief expert, I’ve learned the hard way that there’s a certain pressure release that comes with venting, but it’s just not enough. Because although it may feel good in the moment to get something off of your chest, most likely your frustrations will only come back to haunt you, the moment you’re reminded of what upset you in the first place. The bomb sequence has been initiated. You, the working woman are ticking, ticking.
Stress is no joke. We don’t give it the attention it deserves. It can kill you. In fact did you know that up to 80% of women working in America are either toxically stressed or close to that breaking point.
Toxic stress is when we are so insanely stressed that it spills out into our interactions with others. That’s when you find yourself chewing people’s head off for no reason, yelling at the dog, crying at the drop of a hat, picking arguments, always looking for a fight, feeling a constant rolling boil of anger towards the people you love, losing control and saying things you don’t really mean and feeling guilty and ashamed afterwards. It’s not pretty, but that’s the reality that nobody’s talking about.
In fact it’s affecting our health. Did you know that women are at greater risk for heart attacks, stroke and cancer than men?
So unless you use an actual stress relief technique that can activate your body’s relaxation response and reduce the chemical load of stress hormones pounding your body, you’ll eventually only work yourself up into a lather and stay frustrated and miserable. That’s because by just griping about what’s bugging you, won’t get you untangled from that neverending loop of frustration.
Why? Because you’ll only be reinforcing the message to your brain that you’re helpless to get out from under whatever’s pinning you down. The latest scientific research shows that when you are under stress, your body is in a fight or flight sequence. Stress chemicals like harmful cortisol and adrenaline pour into your system and these bad boys create a lock down/shut down sequence in your system that bolts the upset in place, making it repeat over and over again in your brain everytime you’re reminded of it. That’s why when you’re under overwhelming stress, you shut down mentally and you’re unable to think clearly, because just like a broken record, you’re stuck, baby.
Fully immersed in the memory of whatever is upsetting you, your brain can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality. That’s why only talking about your problems makes them seem that much bigger.
But here’s how to make complaining work for you:
1. Think about a problem. By focusing on what is bothering you, you’re taking aim and clarifying for yourself what’s not working in your life.
2. As you focus on and think about what’s bugging you, place your hand on your upper chest wall and gently rub your chest in a circular motion, gently
massaging and rubbing in a clockwise direction away from your body. The area where you are rubbing is known as the sore spot.
3. If you’re not able to rub your chest for any reason, (always take care of yourself first)then tap lightly on the side of your hand as you think about and verbalize what’s bothering you.
By using either of the two abovementioned points and stimulating them while thinking about the target of what is upsetting you, you will be able to access and reprogram your subconscious mind. We often get stuck in habits and thought patterns without actually being mindful of them. If you think about all the insecurities and fears you have, and trace them back, their roots are in a basic belief which we all share as not being enough of something.;
not enough money, not enough talent, not safe enough, not attractive enough, not sexy enough, not lovable enough, not worthy enough, not educated enough, not experienced enough, not young enough, not smart enough, not beautiful enough. not tall enough, not thin enough, not rich enough, Just not enough. Your experience and your environment dictates which version of that your mind is playing.
Now here’s the deal. When your body is in that place of insecurity and fear, it’s important to know that you’re not seeing things clearly and if you can slow down and take a pause, you can tap into a sense of greater resourcefulness. To zip your confidence back into play and get yourself off of the pause button, all you have to do is recognize that whenever you’re in this state of fear, you now have a way of activating your body’s relaxation response so that you can think clearly again and be calm in the face of chaos.
As you rub or tap on either point on your body, just let your thoughts sweep over you like a wave. By doing that, you will be sending a signal to your brain to pair whatever upsetting thought you have with a sense of being okay and a recognition that you are in the present moment.
As you continue to focus on the problem, your thoughts will shift because
your mind will generate new information, ideas and insights. This is because when you use the tapping you are able to connect with a calmer, wiser side of yourself. It’s like you’re opening up a flood gate of higher wisdom. If you choose to verbalize what you’re thinking, just say whatever comes up, either
aloud or to yourself. Don’t filter or censor your words.
That’s called Tap and Gripe. Many people prefer to move beyond these
points and tap on all the points, I’ve found that in my work with my
clients, that it is easiest to just stick to rubbing the sore spot or
tapping on the side of the hand. You let me know what works best for you.
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When you’re having a tough day, doesn’t it just feel a little better to complain? There’s a certain pressure release that comes with venting. But unless you team it up with an actual stress relief technique, you’ll eventually only work yourself up into a lather because you’ll get caught in a neverending loop of frustration. Here’s a way to get out of that rut.
Andrea Amador, The Juicy Woman, complain, stress, Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT, Curvy Magazine,